Category Archives: stimulation

book reviews, natural remedies, sadness, stimulation, therapy

Who Switched Off My Brain? (Book Review)

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Who Switched Off My Brain?
By Dr. Caroline Leaf

A parishioner of mine recommended this book to me, and so I read it a couple weeks ago. I checked it out from the library, so I don’t have it in front of me, but I wanted to give a brief review of it at least.

The author is I believe an evangelical Christian of some stripe. Basically what the book does is tries to explain in lay terms how the brain works, and the role that what she calls toxic thoughts and emotions have on your physical, mental and spiritual well being.

I found the book extremely helpful. It is easy to read, explains a lot of the things that many of us sort of know or suspect but can’t really explain, and does so in a positive, useful fashion. If you are trying to get a grip on how your mind works and why, this is the book for you.

I would also say that it would reinforce cognitive therapy in a general sense. Which I count as a very good thing.

My only caveat on the book is that because of her american evangelical background, she looks at forgiveness simply as a choice that one makes, and not as a gift given by God through the Word and faith. This didn’t distract me overmuch, but it is a caution. This, by the way, is also my general caution regarding cognitive therapy. It is a good and salutary method of counseling, as long as we can understand the role of God’s Word in creating faith in the process.

Anyway, it’s a good book. I recommend it, and I’ll probably buy it somewhere along the way here.

-DMR

depression, family, stimulation

Not understood

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I’m visiting with a parishoner the other day, I was struck once again by how completely misunderstood clinical depression is, in all of its various forms.  This parishoner felt terribly guilty because he couldn’t spend any time with his family.  He felt selfish that he had to spend so much of his time nad energy just on being able to function in a normal way.  Two hours with the kids might mean 10 hours of time alone wiht quiet and no stress.

Was this person being selfish?  No!  They are sick.  When you are sick there are certain things you need to do in order to get well.  If you are talking about chronic sickness, there are certain things you can do, and others that you simply can’t.  It isn’t a sign of moral failure.  It is a sign of the fallenness and general sickness of our world and our own bodies.  I urged this person to remember that they are doing what they do in order to get better.  They are doing it so that they can fulfill their vocations as husband and father and worker.  They aren’t being selfish.  Far from it. They are being selfless.

It is easy when you are in the midst of the darkenss to think that you are coddling yourself by having to spend so much time alone and in little or no stress situations.  When I was on disability, I played 157 rounds of golf.  It took a lot of time, it cost a fortune, and I absolutely needed it. Why?  Quiet.  No family, no church, no email, no outside distractions, no stimulation beyond what was right in from of me.  I’m sure there were more economical ways to do it.  But this was my way.  It worked.

So if you are in the midst of the darkness, don’t feel guilty about doing what you need to do to get better.  You are doing them so that you will be able to be with your family and friends again.  You are doing them so that you can serve you neighbor as best as you are able.  And God is with you, will cover up your weaknesses, and use you to His glory and for the welfare of many.  Including your family and friends.

-DMR

depression, family, stimulation

Not understood

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I’m visiting with a parishoner the other day, I was struck once again by how completely misunderstood clinical depression is, in all of its various forms.  This parishoner felt terribly guilty because he couldn’t spend any time with his family.  He felt selfish that he had to spend so much of his time nad energy just on being able to function in a normal way.  Two hours with the kids might mean 10 hours of time alone wiht quiet and no stress.

Was this person being selfish?  No!  They are sick.  When you are sick there are certain things you need to do in order to get well.  If you are talking about chronic sickness, there are certain things you can do, and others that you simply can’t.  It isn’t a sign of moral failure.  It is a sign of the fallenness and general sickness of our world and our own bodies.  I urged this person to remember that they are doing what they do in order to get better.  They are doing it so that they can fulfill their vocations as husband and father and worker.  They aren’t being selfish.  Far from it. They are being selfless.

It is easy when you are in the midst of the darkenss to think that you are coddling yourself by having to spend so much time alone and in little or no stress situations.  When I was on disability, I played 157 rounds of golf.  It took a lot of time, it cost a fortune, and I absolutely needed it. Why?  Quiet.  No family, no church, no email, no outside distractions, no stimulation beyond what was right in from of me.  I’m sure there were more economical ways to do it.  But this was my way.  It worked.

So if you are in the midst of the darkness, don’t feel guilty about doing what you need to do to get better.  You are doing them so that you will be able to be with your family and friends again.  You are doing them so that you can serve you neighbor as best as you are able.  And God is with you, will cover up your weaknesses, and use you to His glory and for the welfare of many.  Including your family and friends.

-DMR

family, stimulation

Relief

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Well, I just got through the most stressful part of the summer for me. It wasn’t so much things that I was doing, but that my wife was really really busy with her job. So that meant more watching the kids, more running around, more stimulation across the board. Lots of long days, etc.

Now was surprised me was that I actually made it. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn, but it is so easy to come to believe in depression and anxiety that things will never get better, that you can never handle things the way you used to do so. Not true. Or at least, not necessarily true.

One can be tired, worn out, and ready for a vacation. But you can still look back on those difficult times and say, “I handled it. I’m still here.”

Be of good cheer, friends. The Lord provides, and He will take care of you.

-DMR

family, stimulation

Relief

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Well, I just got through the most stressful part of the summer for me. It wasn’t so much things that I was doing, but that my wife was really really busy with her job. So that meant more watching the kids, more running around, more stimulation across the board. Lots of long days, etc.

Now was surprised me was that I actually made it. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn, but it is so easy to come to believe in depression and anxiety that things will never get better, that you can never handle things the way you used to do so. Not true. Or at least, not necessarily true.

One can be tired, worn out, and ready for a vacation. But you can still look back on those difficult times and say, “I handled it. I’m still here.”

Be of good cheer, friends. The Lord provides, and He will take care of you.

-DMR

anxiety, depression, stimulation, stress

Signs

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Well, I’m back from paralysis. I know you were all worried. Upon reflection and some conversations with my counselor, I have come to recognize what may be obvious to you, and may not: there are almost always signs on why you get stuck in the rut of paralysis.

What do I mean?

What I mean is that as I step back and examine what is going on in my life, I can almost always pinpoint why I am having a hard day, or I seem to be stuck in the fog. Here are some of the way of doing some self-examination:

  1. What has changed in your life? This can be big or little, scheduling issues, watching the kids more (or less), meetings, etc.
  2. How are you sleeping? If your sleeping pattern has changed, that can certainly have an effect.
  3. Related to number one, are there either short or long-term stressors that can be weighing on your mind?

By identifying what is it that is causing your spiral, this will lesson the spiral, give you focus on what to pray for, and will help you to figure out if any of those causes can be removd, redirected, or postponed.

For myself, I know that I can be worrying about things that are weeks or even months ahead, both known and unknown. They can weigh you down and play right into Satan’s hand of robbing you of the hope in Christ which we share by Holy Baptism.

Keep at it, friends. Don’t be afraid. Our Lord suffers with you, and He will not abandon you in your time of need.

-DMR

anxiety, depression, stimulation, stress

Signs

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Well, I’m back from paralysis. I know you were all worried. Upon reflection and some conversations with my counselor, I have come to recognize what may be obvious to you, and may not: there are almost always signs on why you get stuck in the rut of paralysis.

What do I mean?

What I mean is that as I step back and examine what is going on in my life, I can almost always pinpoint why I am having a hard day, or I seem to be stuck in the fog. Here are some of the way of doing some self-examination:

  1. What has changed in your life? This can be big or little, scheduling issues, watching the kids more (or less), meetings, etc.
  2. How are you sleeping? If your sleeping pattern has changed, that can certainly have an effect.
  3. Related to number one, are there either short or long-term stressors that can be weighing on your mind?

By identifying what is it that is causing your spiral, this will lesson the spiral, give you focus on what to pray for, and will help you to figure out if any of those causes can be removd, redirected, or postponed.

For myself, I know that I can be worrying about things that are weeks or even months ahead, both known and unknown. They can weigh you down and play right into Satan’s hand of robbing you of the hope in Christ which we share by Holy Baptism.

Keep at it, friends. Don’t be afraid. Our Lord suffers with you, and He will not abandon you in your time of need.

-DMR

depression, family, shut-ins, stimulation, stress

Reentry Blues

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Sorry about that two month hiatus there. If it is any consolation, in the words of Larry Nelson, “You’ve always been on my mind.”

I’m now several months into “reentry” and things are mostly good, but with definite bumps along the way. One plus for you longer time readers is that I have a draft of the book done. We’ll see where it goes from here. But that consumed a lot of my time this spring. Now I just have to get it to make sense…

For the most part reentry has gone well. We’ve done a couple vacations. I’m trying to get back into the swing of pastoral life juggled with family life. It’s okay. Here are a few observations that do come to my mind:

  • The things that bothered me on disability still bother me, e.g. overstimulus, stress, time with too many people, and so forth. That has not gone away. I’m learning how to manage it better, but it is still a long road.
  • Family time really has to be deliberate and planned. If it isn’t, I’m much more likely to simply bail out.
  • “A man has to know his limitations,” in the words of Clint Eastwood. I am very tempted to take on new and more projects, and to get right back to where I started. It’s my nature to be the superpastor, and while I’m working on that, it is very hard for me.
  • Time in the Scriptures and in prayer is easier now, but still not an unconscious habit of my daily life. Maybe its energy. Maybe there are still spiritual matters that have yet to be resolved. I’m not sure. But this is an ongoing challenge for me, as it is for most pastors.

So there you have it. I hope to be back to posting more regularly now. If you have any topics you would like to see covered, let me know and I’ll take a stab at it.

-DMR

depression, stimulation, stress

Globalizing

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I am having a bad week. Not a “I’m gonna die so just shoot me now” bad week. Just a bad week. Some things have happened that I don’t like, and while at one level I’ve “handled” them pretty well, made good decisions involving my own health, etc., it has not changed the fact that the fog has rolled in much more than I would like. I feel like I’m in slow moving quicksand, and I’m afraid of a relapse. I don’t want to go back to where I was even a month ago. I want to move forward, but I’m afraid.

This is what we might call Globalizing: taking an isolated event or time period, and extrapolating a whole series of future events that all work off the worst possible construction theory. Now everyone is susceptible to this. Everyone has their moments of despair and when you can’t see the future.

For one suffering from depression, globalizing is, well, more like solarsystemizing.

Instead of thinking of the stead progress that (by God’s grace) I have made over the last six months, I simply catapult back to the worst, the foggiest moments of my illness. It’s absurd. It goes against all of God’s promises for health and healing. It discounts medication, therapy, a supportive family, supportive pastor, and everything else good that has happened to me in the last year.

Yet it is how I feel. It is what I dread. My mind and body tell me that I am going to fall all the way back a year or more.

Is it true?

NO. It’s not true. I’m having some bad days. That’s all it is.

So what do you do when you’re slumping? You do what you know has helped you in the past. Here are a few of mine, but I’m sure you have your own list.

  • Get outside.
  • Golf
  • Work in the shop
  • Play chess or some other game (cards) that engages your brain elsewhere.
  • Spend quality time with your spouse.
  • Have some quiet, but don’t isolate yourself.
  • Pray

Those are a few. God’s peace be with you.

-DMR

children, family, stimulation

The Din (Children and Depression)

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In my process of healing, I have reached the point where church things generally are coming easier. Thank God. It’s been a long road. I can handle being around my parishioners again, greeting people, even teaching bible class and preaching (although not weekly). This is all good, and a sign from all of you pastors, etc., who fear things can never change. They can, and with God’s mercy, they will. Don’t lose hope.

But this is my cross right now. I (and my therapist) call it “The Din”. My wife and I have several children under ten years old in our household. I love them all deeply, as well as my wife.

The problem is that being around then for any length of time is the hardest thing I do.

How can this be? How can it be that the very ones whom I love the most (other than my wife) are the very ones that are the barrier and roadblock in my recovery?

Well, this is how I think it works. The biggest thing for me right now is stimulation and energy. The more stimulation I have (noise particularly), the more my energy is sapped, and the more, uh, zombie-like I become. It used to be that any interaction with anyone would do this. Even a conversation in a car could lay me flat for hours. But now it has focused down to my children.

I’m not very happy about this. I love my children, and if I had my way, I would be able to “handle” them before anything else. But I am not in control, so things don’t work the way I want them to work. (This should not come as a surprise to anyone.)

It’ll take time, I know. It will come, I hope and expect. But it will not be according to my calendar.

What’s the lesson in all of this? I’m glad you asked:

  • You are not alone. Even if your children (or whomever) don’t understand what’s going on, they still love you and want you to get better. Sometimes we must give up what we love the most in order to receive later on. (That’s probably in the Bible somewhere.) Furthermore, there are pastors and others who suffer with you, even if you don’t know them. Trust me on that one.
  • The mind is not always predictable. Some things are going to be more difficult for one over another. In my case it’s my children. In someone else’s case it may be greeting after church, eating in restaurants, or dealing with class. This is not a judgment of any sort on how much you love your family, church, Panera, or whatever. It is the reality of this illness we call depression.
  • God is merciful. Along the way, for everything you can’t do, there will be two more you can. It comes. Medication, therapy, prayer, the support of a good pastor, your spouse and family, all of these things contribute. God has given us these things for our benefit, and He will use them as He sees fit to bring about healing and hope.

Be well, my friends.

In Christ,
-DMR