Through a series of peculiar events, I am serving as a delegate to the 2010 LCMS Convention in Houston, Texas. Â You may follow my general thoughts about it here. Â One event today kind of served as a trigger for me that I thought would be worth reflection upon here.
Since my illness, I have been less comfortable around large crowds, loud noises, and kind of close in, packed situations. Â Tonight I had opportunity to go to an awesome baseball game where the Cardinals whooped the Astros 8-0. Â (GO CARDS!) Â The game was good. Â It was fun. Â I love baseball and so much about it and the culture which surrounds it. Â But at the end of the game when we were getting up to leave, the people around us looked at us funny. Â I couldn’t figure out why no one was getting up. Â The game was over, and the home team got trounced. Â Don’t these people ever leave?
It turns out that this Friday they were have a fireworks display after the game.
Now those of you who have been reading this for a while might remember that fireworks are one of those triggers for me. Â You can read more about it here. Â So when I heard that they were having fireworks, it was as if 15000 people all sorta crowded in around me asking, “So, Todd, are you going to stay?” Â I kinda freaked out, and left rather abruptly.
I’m fine. Â Just so we’re clear.
This little mini-event reminded me of how certain things can serve as triggers. Â Sights, sounds, smells. Â There are some things that I haven’t been able to really enjoy since I was on disability, because I associate themÂ with my illness. Â Golf and woodworking both come to mind.
I think all of us have these events or things that trigger certain memories or feelings. Â What are yours? Â How do you address them? Â Do they derail you, or is it just a passing feeling that improves over time?
A part of what helps me in these situations is being able to externalize them. Â If I can recognize what is going on, that allows me to maintain a modicum of control and perspective on the whole matter. Â For those of you who are into E.Q. type stuff, this would fall under self-awareness. Â This process has allowed me to move forward through such events and not allow them to paralyze me.
What think ye? Â Is this common or a peculiar Peperkornism?