I am working on an appendix for the book right now. This is a question that I seem to answer a lot. I have my own answers to this question, which I will post in a bit, but I would like to hear from you. How would you answer the above question? If you are a parishoner, spouse or friend of someone (pastor or not) who suffers from depression, what should you do?
Monthly Archives: November 2008
How to get out of the fog…
There are no easy solutions to that question. Here are a few that come to my mind, in no particular order:
- Pray
- Sleep
- Distract yourself with mindless entertainment
- Sunshine
- Exercise
- Quiet
- Wait
Other suggestions from the gallery? What do you do when you are in the depths?
-DMR
Not understood
I’m visiting with a parishoner the other day, I was struck once again by how completely misunderstood clinical depression is, in all of its various forms. This parishoner felt terribly guilty because he couldn’t spend any time with his family. He felt selfish that he had to spend so much of his time nad energy just on being able to function in a normal way. Two hours with the kids might mean 10 hours of time alone wiht quiet and no stress.
Was this person being selfish? No! They are sick. When you are sick there are certain things you need to do in order to get well. If you are talking about chronic sickness, there are certain things you can do, and others that you simply can’t. It isn’t a sign of moral failure. It is a sign of the fallenness and general sickness of our world and our own bodies. I urged this person to remember that they are doing what they do in order to get better. They are doing it so that they can fulfill their vocations as husband and father and worker. They aren’t being selfish. Far from it. They are being selfless.
It is easy when you are in the midst of the darkenss to think that you are coddling yourself by having to spend so much time alone and in little or no stress situations. When I was on disability, I played 157 rounds of golf. It took a lot of time, it cost a fortune, and I absolutely needed it. Why? Quiet. No family, no church, no email, no outside distractions, no stimulation beyond what was right in from of me. I’m sure there were more economical ways to do it. But this was my way. It worked.
So if you are in the midst of the darkness, don’t feel guilty about doing what you need to do to get better. You are doing them so that you will be able to be with your family and friends again. You are doing them so that you can serve you neighbor as best as you are able. And God is with you, will cover up your weaknesses, and use you to His glory and for the welfare of many. Including your family and friends.
-DMR
Not understood
I’m visiting with a parishoner the other day, I was struck once again by how completely misunderstood clinical depression is, in all of its various forms. This parishoner felt terribly guilty because he couldn’t spend any time with his family. He felt selfish that he had to spend so much of his time nad energy just on being able to function in a normal way. Two hours with the kids might mean 10 hours of time alone wiht quiet and no stress.
Was this person being selfish? No! They are sick. When you are sick there are certain things you need to do in order to get well. If you are talking about chronic sickness, there are certain things you can do, and others that you simply can’t. It isn’t a sign of moral failure. It is a sign of the fallenness and general sickness of our world and our own bodies. I urged this person to remember that they are doing what they do in order to get better. They are doing it so that they can fulfill their vocations as husband and father and worker. They aren’t being selfish. Far from it. They are being selfless.
It is easy when you are in the midst of the darkenss to think that you are coddling yourself by having to spend so much time alone and in little or no stress situations. When I was on disability, I played 157 rounds of golf. It took a lot of time, it cost a fortune, and I absolutely needed it. Why? Quiet. No family, no church, no email, no outside distractions, no stimulation beyond what was right in from of me. I’m sure there were more economical ways to do it. But this was my way. It worked.
So if you are in the midst of the darkness, don’t feel guilty about doing what you need to do to get better. You are doing them so that you will be able to be with your family and friends again. You are doing them so that you can serve you neighbor as best as you are able. And God is with you, will cover up your weaknesses, and use you to His glory and for the welfare of many. Including your family and friends.
-DMR
Would you like to be linked?
If you are a reader here that has a blog or other web site that may be of interest to other readers, please reply in the comment line to this post and I’ll add you to my blogroll. I’m slowly working on a facelife here.
Thanks!
-DMR
Would you like to be linked?
If you are a reader here that has a blog or other web site that may be of interest to other readers, please reply in the comment line to this post and I’ll add you to my blogroll. I’m slowly working on a facelife here.
Thanks!
-DMR
Would you like to be linked?
If you are a reader here that has a blog or other web site that may be of interest to other readers, please reply in the comment line to this post and I’ll add you to my blogroll. I’m slowly working on a facelife here.
Thanks!
-DMR
The Scoop on the Book
I have been blogging here for quite a while, and some of my longer term readers may remember that I have been working on a book. The book’s working title is “I Trust When Dark My Road.” I’ve had it largely finished for almost a year now, and I have been marketing it to publishing houses.
Here’s the story. Two of the three larger Lutheran publishing houses (CPH & NPH) rejected it. In one case there was no reason given really. In the other case it was basically a marketing question. They just weren’t sure if there would be the market for a book on depression that was geared first of all toward pastors and other professional church workers. Basically they weren’t willing to risk an investment on that regard. I had great experiences with both publishing houses in the process, and hope to work with them some time in the future. But time will tell.
So that is leaving me at a crossroads. Here are my options as I see it:
- Publish it as an e-book and just allow whatever interest there is get generated online
- Publish it through a subsidized publishing house like Winepress.
- Drop it as an exercise in healing that wouldn’t be of benefit to others.
There may be other options, but those are the ones that I see right now.
What do you think? Is it worth pursuing as a self-published book? If I do that, it means raising the money to pay for the up front costs. I’m not certain how much interest there is on that, either.
Any thoughts you might have would be most welcome at this point. I am very excited about this book. It discusses many of the things we’ve talked about here for the last year and a half. Basically I would describe it as a Lutheran understanding of depression and mental illness in the light of the theology of the cross.
Thanks for your comments.
-DMR
The Scoop on the Book
I have been blogging here for quite a while, and some of my longer term readers may remember that I have been working on a book. The book’s working title is “I Trust When Dark My Road.” I’ve had it largely finished for almost a year now, and I have been marketing it to publishing houses.
Here’s the story. Two of the three larger Lutheran publishing houses (CPH & NPH) rejected it. In one case there was no reason given really. In the other case it was basically a marketing question. They just weren’t sure if there would be the market for a book on depression that was geared first of all toward pastors and other professional church workers. Basically they weren’t willing to risk an investment on that regard. I had great experiences with both publishing houses in the process, and hope to work with them some time in the future. But time will tell.
So that is leaving me at a crossroads. Here are my options as I see it:
- Publish it as an e-book and just allow whatever interest there is get generated online
- Publish it through a subsidized publishing house like Winepress.
- Drop it as an exercise in healing that wouldn’t be of benefit to others.
There may be other options, but those are the ones that I see right now.
What do you think? Is it worth pursuing as a self-published book? If I do that, it means raising the money to pay for the up front costs. I’m not certain how much interest there is on that, either.
Any thoughts you might have would be most welcome at this point. I am very excited about this book. It discusses many of the things we’ve talked about here for the last year and a half. Basically I would describe it as a Lutheran understanding of depression and mental illness in the light of the theology of the cross.
Thanks for your comments.
-DMR