Dread vs. Guilt

I have posted on the travails of shut-in call a number of times, specifically here, and here. I’m not sure if I’m a bad pastor or what, but I have just never really enjoyed shut-in calls. Really it is more the concept of shut-in calls that bugs me more than the reality of them. I generally like the people whom I visit and commune. I don’t have a problem with them. Really the difficulty lies in the emotional drain which may go along with the visit, as well as the time, etc.

So this morning I was faced with two competing avoidance issues: the dread of visits vs. the guilt of not doing them. Talk about stuck between a rock and a hard place! But this is often where I find myself when it comes to visits of various sorts. I dread the thought of doing them, but I am racked with guilt over not doing them. You’re pretty much toast either way it goes.

So this morning I decided that the guilt was worse than the dread, so I went to make calls. I got all of them done save one. A pretty good morning’s work for me. What I found is that I am much relieved at getting them done, but also that God can use me as a pastor even if my motivations stink.

There is a lot of comfort in that.

-DMR

6 thoughts on “Dread vs. Guilt”

  1. Someone with M/H problems e-mailed me and told me I need to read your blog, so i did. You sound like you are a pretty sick individual. I think thats why I would probably like you. I have found over the years that most people ,especially Christians, have a hard time with the truth when it comes to any mental illnes and or addictions. Keep telling the truth, your not alone.I tell people all the time that no one is sicker than I, and if I, with the help of GOD can make it so can they. Have a wonderful day. WE

  2. Someone with M/H problems e-mailed me and told me I need to read your blog, so i did. You sound like you are a pretty sick individual. I think thats why I would probably like you. I have found over the years that most people ,especially Christians, have a hard time with the truth when it comes to any mental illnes and or addictions. Keep telling the truth, your not alone.I tell people all the time that no one is sicker than I, and if I, with the help of GOD can make it so can they. Have a wonderful day. WE

  3. And think how much you may have brightened the day of each of those persons you visited! That should be enough to offset the emotional drain of the visits…..right? Maybe it can be balanced out.

  4. And think how much you may have brightened the day of each of those persons you visited! That should be enough to offset the emotional drain of the visits…..right? Maybe it can be balanced out.

  5. From a poem by Ripley D. Saunders:

    “Sad or sunny musing…..is largely in the choosing.”

    “Your own sky will lighten…..if other skies you brighten.”

  6. From a poem by Ripley D. Saunders:

    “Sad or sunny musing…..is largely in the choosing.”

    “Your own sky will lighten…..if other skies you brighten.”

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