I Trust When Dark My Road

I have posted on the travails of shut-in call a number of times, specifically here, and here. I’m not sure if I’m a bad pastor or what, but I have just never really enjoyed shut-in calls. Really it is more the concept of shut-in calls that bugs me more than the reality of them. I generally like the people whom I visit and commune. I don’t have a problem with them. Really the difficulty lies in the emotional drain which may go along with the visit, as well as the time, etc.

So this morning I was faced with two competing avoidance issues: the dread of visits vs. the guilt of not doing them. Talk about stuck between a rock and a hard place! But this is often where I find myself when it comes to visits of various sorts. I dread the thought of doing them, but I am racked with guilt over not doing them. You’re pretty much toast either way it goes.

So this morning I decided that the guilt was worse than the dread, so I went to make calls. I got all of them done save one. A pretty good morning’s work for me. What I found is that I am much relieved at getting them done, but also that God can use me as a pastor even if my motivations stink.

There is a lot of comfort in that.

-DMR