Tag Archives: Lutheran

Why the Church Drives Away the Mentally Ill

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In the last few years I have had the opportunity to speak or correspond with many people who struggle with depression or other mental illnesses. Pastors, teachers, DCEs, laity, each story is different, yet there are common themes.

One of those themes is how often the church, either at the congregational level or at the district/synod level, has failed these people. In all too many cases, their faith has been shaken to the point of disappearing. Now I don’t believe that there is any malice on the part of congregations or our church body. Far from it. But the sad reality is that we are driving people away from Christ by how we approach the mentally ill.

Why?

I have several theories about this. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Because we so often equate clinical depression (or any mental illness) with some sort of character flaw, it is viewed basically as a sin. I think people instinctively know that this isn’t quite right, but they don’t have any other categories in which to place mental illness.

2. Everyone has weaknesses, and we work very hard to hide them. For many, depression unmasked is too close to home. It forces us to view our own struggles and failings, and that may just be too painful.

3. If we view the church as a place for the spiritually strong to work out, and not a hospital for the sick, then the mentally ill have no place.

4. The fundamental notion of “depression is in your head, get over it!” is so strong that we can’t help but judge others whose weaknesses are in public view.

5. Lutherans just aren’t very good at areas which aren’t “spiritual” in nature. If it isn’t about justification, then we just don’t get it. Hence, we try to place depression and mental illness simply into the “spiritual” box, and it doesn’t fit there.

Those are off the top of my head. What’s on your list?

Darkness Is My Only Companion, with thoughts on Bipolar Disorder

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Darkness Is My Only Companion: A Christian Response to Mental Illness, by Kathryn Greene-McCreight

This is a book I am currently reading. It is written by an Episcopalian priest. Consider this your theological disclaimer. I’m certain that there are elements to the book that don’t fit a nice little Lutheran orthodox niche.

Having said that, I have found it about the best book on mental illness from a Christian perspective I have read thus far. She seems to have a pretty firm grasp of the theology of the cross and suffering, doesn’t gloss over the ugly parts, and finds hope in the resurrection.

Her lens through which she views mental illness is bipolar disorder. This is a very different beast than my own sickness, major clinical depression. This illness at different times has been called manic depressive, and many other titles which I won’t try to list. While clinical depression has lows and more lows, bipolar disorder is basically a roller coaster of ecstasy and despondency, bouncing from the two in a way which is nigh impossible to fathom for the outsider.

Here are a couple paragraphs from Greene-McCreight which I found poignant and insightful:

So, during mania, I felt completely different from the way I did at the depressive pole. Mania doesn’t hurt the way depression does. Depression meant that every breath, every thought, every moment of consciousness hurt. Every particle of my consciousness ached, throbbed, stung. Mania was the opposite: every breath, every movement, every image before my eyes, every thought sparkled, glittered magically, filled me with ecstasy. Centrifugal motion, bliss.

At this point, thanks to the medicine, I am not filled with ecstasy. Neither am I in agony. I just want to end my existence. I am tired-not physically,, no, because the medicine is working. HEaven forbid I should be physically tired. Leave it to American medicine to make a drug that provides productivity even during depressive episodes. But I am tired of existed inside of myself, I don’t want to be inside my own skin, am tired of feeling and talking and figuring out why I feel this way and that way, tired of putting off the inevitable, that I should return to the earth from which the muddy Adam was shaped. (p. 55)

Obviously this is not the portrait of a shiny, happy, victorious Christian. This is the picture of the sufferer, who struggles with the medication which continues existence and yet hates the existence it gives. I personally find it refreshing. I just get so sick of fake, infused happiness and joy. This false happiness isn’t as prevalent in Christianity now as it was ten years ago, but it is still very much there.

As I wrap up the book, I’ll try and offer a few more citations that will be of benefit, particularly looking at where we put our trust, and the interaction between medication, faith and therapy.

-DMR

The Cause of Happiness

Susan Gehlbach has a great observation in the post below about happiness:

Susan’s Pendulum: Happiness

Depression in my view is the extreme inward turning of the personality and the soul. It has physical, medical and spiritual causes. But one thing that I certainly know from my experience is that when I am depressed, it is very hard to see outside myself. When I am least depressed, it is because I am finding (being given?) contentment in the vocations God has given me. So Susan and her pastor are right. We sons and daughters of Adam and Eve are at our best when we are in service to our neighbor.

So how does one get outside of oneself to serving the neighbor, thus finding the contentment and happiness which only God can give. First, the Gospel. Only the Gospel can pull out outside of ourselves and into the lives our our neighbors from a spiritual perspective. Second, addressing whatever the medical or physiological aspects that are going on. This may happen via medication (traditional or non-traditional), therapy, exercise, diet, and a host of other elements that all come into play with our bodies.

That’s the way I see it. What do you see?

-DMR

Penacide or Suicide: Make the Pain Go Away

I’ve been thinking a lot about suicide lately. No, not in connection with myself (be not afraid). I’ve been thinking a lot about this pastor who took his life recently, and what this means theologically, emotionally, and for our common life together.

A doctor recently brought to my attention a word and definition that I believe is extremely helpful for the Christian in understanding suicide. The word is penacide. Penacide is the killing of pain. Here’s one definition of it:

Suicide and Suicide Grief: “‘Pena’ is from the Latin ‘poena’ (punishment or torment), the root of the word ‘pain.’ ‘Cide’ is from ‘cedere’ (to strike down). Penacide is ‘the killing of pain.’ It incorporates the reason, wanting to terminate one’s pain. It eliminates the notion that ‘wanting to die’ has anything to do with killing oneself. Penacide is not a kind of suicide. It’s what causes the deaths recorded as suicides. It is the true name of the beast.”

I would contend, and there is an increasing amount of evidence that bears this out, that most of the cases of suicide are really penacide. This is especially true when it comes to cases of clinical depression. Penacide means that you become so desperate to get rid of the pain inside you that you come to the point where you feel you must take your own life. You can’t take the pain any longer.

In most cases involving suicide, this is what is going on if it is connected to clinical depression.

How does this help us? First of all, it helps us to understand that dealing with clinical depression is not the same as sadness or assuaging guilt. Certainly guilt may and probably does come into play, but that is only one piece of the puzzle. But as Christians, we can easily fall into the trap of thinking of absolutely everything in terms of forensic justification. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I don’t think that mindset is helpful when it comes to depression or suicide.

Let me explain.

Because the neurotransmitters are not working properly in the brain of someone suffering from clinical depression, they become curved in upon themselves. It is increasingly difficult to deal with other people. The noise, the din, the problems, everything is magnified and exaggerated. It becomes physically oppressive. I’ve commented here before on the physical effects of clinical depression. It is hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been there. The closest I can come to explaining it is a combination of claustrophobia and suffocation. It is physical. It hurts. It is terribly painful, because you don’t know what is really going on or why.

Tragically for some, the pain becomes too much. They take their own life because they can’t take that pain anymore. I understand that, and I thank God that my pain never got to that point. But I’ve looked over that edge and seen the other side. It isn’t a good place.

So where is hope? Hope lies in the One who endured all for us. Hope lies in the One who came into our fleshed, suffered for us, and went the way of death so that we need not go there ourselves.

Sometimes the pain becomes too much. When we look at brothers and sisters who are suffering, don’t lay them with guilt. Give them Jesus. Get them a doctor. Be a friend. Love them. Suffer with them. Pray for them and with them. Don’t leave them, especially if the pain looks like it is becoming unbearable. God will see them through, and you through.

So what happens when someone does take their own life because the pain becomes too much? Rev. McCain said it very well in his post on the subject, and it bears repeating here:

I remembered Martin Luther’s wise words when asked about the state of those who commit suicide. It is a shame these wise words were not kept in mind during the history of our church. At my first parish, there was a corner of the parish cemetery where suicides were buried, in unmarked graves, the view being quite a legalistic view of the situation, that a person who kills himself has no chance to confess sin and receive absolution and therefore is lost. Luther rather wisely points to the power and influence of Satan and how we must be on our guard and realize that there are those times when Satan will take one of us captive and overcome us on the road of life.

Here is what Luther said:
“I don’t share the opinion that suicides are certainly to be damned. My reason is that they do not wish to kill themselves but are overcome by the power of the devil. They are like a man who is murdered in the woods by a robber. . . . They are examples by which our Lord God wishes to show that the devil is powerful and also that we should be diligent in prayer. But for these examples, we would not fear God. Hence he must teach us in this way.” [Vol. 54:29].

Finally, if you know a pastor who is struggling, be sure to reach out to encourage him and support him. Don’t sit around thinking, “Oh, somebody else is going to say something.” No, you say something. Do something. Reach out in Christian love. If a congregation is aware that the pastor is suffering, don’t wait, help.

I don’t this is a little stream of consciousness. I’ll try to put my thoughts in a little more cohesive fashion later.

Rest well, friends. Be at peace.

-DMR

More on Pastor Suicide

You will find below another link to the apparent suicide that has taken our Lutheran family the last couple days. I knew John as well, and would certainly echo Rev. Fish’s description.

As someone who has gone down the road of seriously considering suicide, I think I have some sense of that darkness. No man knows another’s pain except our Lord, but we can have glimpses of it.

It is truly astonishing to me how many pastors there are out there who discount clinical depression as basically a modern invention. It is real, it is utterly debilitating, and Satan will use it to whatever end can to further his evil plans.

Fortunately, God is merciful. This means, quite simply, that God’s love conquers even death. Even an evil death such as this. When John may have felt abandoned, he was and is not. His baptism remains true. God will not leave him in the clutches of Satan simply because of an illness.

I am still deeply sad, especially for John’s family and his congregation. They will certainly be in my prayers in the days and weeks to come.

God be with us.

-DMR

Almost Beyond Belief

More on Pastor Suicide

You will find below another link to the apparent suicide that has taken our Lutheran family the last couple days. I knew John as well, and would certainly echo Rev. Fish’s description.

As someone who has gone down the road of seriously considering suicide, I think I have some sense of that darkness. No man knows another’s pain except our Lord, but we can have glimpses of it.

It is truly astonishing to me how many pastors there are out there who discount clinical depression as basically a modern invention. It is real, it is utterly debilitating, and Satan will use it to whatever end can to further his evil plans.

Fortunately, God is merciful. This means, quite simply, that God’s love conquers even death. Even an evil death such as this. When John may have felt abandoned, he was and is not. His baptism remains true. God will not leave him in the clutches of Satan simply because of an illness.

I am still deeply sad, especially for John’s family and his congregation. They will certainly be in my prayers in the days and weeks to come.

God be with us.

-DMR

Almost Beyond Belief

Cyberbrethren: A Lutheran Blog: Thoughts on the Suicide of a Friend

Rev. Paul McCain over at Cyberbrethren has an outstanding post on suicide right now. Here is the final paragraph:

Finally, if you know a pastor who is struggling, be sure to reach out to encourage him and support him. Don’t sit around thinking, “Oh, somebody else is going to say something.” No, you say something. Do something. Reach out in Christian love. If a congregation is aware that the pastor is suffering, don’t wait, help.

Amen to that, and thank you, Rev. McCain, for your excellent and well written post.

-DMR

Cyberbrethren: A Lutheran Blog: Thoughts on the Suicide of a Friend: “”

A Sham

When I get depressed, I feel like a fake.

I get tired easy.  I can’t write sermons.  I don’t want to prepare for bible class.  I don’t want to see or talk to people.  I don’t want to do anything at all.

All of which raises the question for me, why am I a pastor?

I know it’s a phase.  I know it will pass.  But it just keeps happening.  I want somebody to slap me and say SNAP OUT OF IT!  Of course, it doesn’t work that way.  I wish I knew the formula.  X amount of sleep plus Y amount of quiet time plus Z amount of no stress equals slump gone.

So what is the formula?  Will someone tell me the secret?

Thanks,

-DMR

A Sham

When I get depressed, I feel like a fake.

I get tired easy.  I can’t write sermons.  I don’t want to prepare for bible class.  I don’t want to see or talk to people.  I don’t want to do anything at all.

All of which raises the question for me, why am I a pastor?

I know it’s a phase.  I know it will pass.  But it just keeps happening.  I want somebody to slap me and say SNAP OUT OF IT!  Of course, it doesn’t work that way.  I wish I knew the formula.  X amount of sleep plus Y amount of quiet time plus Z amount of no stress equals slump gone.

So what is the formula?  Will someone tell me the secret?

Thanks,

-DMR