Category Archives: suicide

The Commemoration of +John Gerlach

Below you will find a link to the funeral sermon for Rev. John Gerlach, our brother in Christ who died this past week. Pastor Flo does a wonderful job proclaiming the Gospel, putting our hope where it belongs (on Jesus), and on recognizing the grief that is ours at John’s death. Thank you, Pastor Flo, for speaking His Word to us.

-DMR

The Commemoration of +John Gerlach

(Via Cyberstones)

Penacide or Suicide: Make the Pain Go Away

I’ve been thinking a lot about suicide lately. No, not in connection with myself (be not afraid). I’ve been thinking a lot about this pastor who took his life recently, and what this means theologically, emotionally, and for our common life together.

A doctor recently brought to my attention a word and definition that I believe is extremely helpful for the Christian in understanding suicide. The word is penacide. Penacide is the killing of pain. Here’s one definition of it:

Suicide and Suicide Grief: “‘Pena’ is from the Latin ‘poena’ (punishment or torment), the root of the word ‘pain.’ ‘Cide’ is from ‘cedere’ (to strike down). Penacide is ‘the killing of pain.’ It incorporates the reason, wanting to terminate one’s pain. It eliminates the notion that ‘wanting to die’ has anything to do with killing oneself. Penacide is not a kind of suicide. It’s what causes the deaths recorded as suicides. It is the true name of the beast.”

I would contend, and there is an increasing amount of evidence that bears this out, that most of the cases of suicide are really penacide. This is especially true when it comes to cases of clinical depression. Penacide means that you become so desperate to get rid of the pain inside you that you come to the point where you feel you must take your own life. You can’t take the pain any longer.

In most cases involving suicide, this is what is going on if it is connected to clinical depression.

How does this help us? First of all, it helps us to understand that dealing with clinical depression is not the same as sadness or assuaging guilt. Certainly guilt may and probably does come into play, but that is only one piece of the puzzle. But as Christians, we can easily fall into the trap of thinking of absolutely everything in terms of forensic justification. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I don’t think that mindset is helpful when it comes to depression or suicide.

Let me explain.

Because the neurotransmitters are not working properly in the brain of someone suffering from clinical depression, they become curved in upon themselves. It is increasingly difficult to deal with other people. The noise, the din, the problems, everything is magnified and exaggerated. It becomes physically oppressive. I’ve commented here before on the physical effects of clinical depression. It is hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been there. The closest I can come to explaining it is a combination of claustrophobia and suffocation. It is physical. It hurts. It is terribly painful, because you don’t know what is really going on or why.

Tragically for some, the pain becomes too much. They take their own life because they can’t take that pain anymore. I understand that, and I thank God that my pain never got to that point. But I’ve looked over that edge and seen the other side. It isn’t a good place.

So where is hope? Hope lies in the One who endured all for us. Hope lies in the One who came into our fleshed, suffered for us, and went the way of death so that we need not go there ourselves.

Sometimes the pain becomes too much. When we look at brothers and sisters who are suffering, don’t lay them with guilt. Give them Jesus. Get them a doctor. Be a friend. Love them. Suffer with them. Pray for them and with them. Don’t leave them, especially if the pain looks like it is becoming unbearable. God will see them through, and you through.

So what happens when someone does take their own life because the pain becomes too much? Rev. McCain said it very well in his post on the subject, and it bears repeating here:

I remembered Martin Luther’s wise words when asked about the state of those who commit suicide. It is a shame these wise words were not kept in mind during the history of our church. At my first parish, there was a corner of the parish cemetery where suicides were buried, in unmarked graves, the view being quite a legalistic view of the situation, that a person who kills himself has no chance to confess sin and receive absolution and therefore is lost. Luther rather wisely points to the power and influence of Satan and how we must be on our guard and realize that there are those times when Satan will take one of us captive and overcome us on the road of life.

Here is what Luther said:
“I don’t share the opinion that suicides are certainly to be damned. My reason is that they do not wish to kill themselves but are overcome by the power of the devil. They are like a man who is murdered in the woods by a robber. . . . They are examples by which our Lord God wishes to show that the devil is powerful and also that we should be diligent in prayer. But for these examples, we would not fear God. Hence he must teach us in this way.” [Vol. 54:29].

Finally, if you know a pastor who is struggling, be sure to reach out to encourage him and support him. Don’t sit around thinking, “Oh, somebody else is going to say something.” No, you say something. Do something. Reach out in Christian love. If a congregation is aware that the pastor is suffering, don’t wait, help.

I don’t this is a little stream of consciousness. I’ll try to put my thoughts in a little more cohesive fashion later.

Rest well, friends. Be at peace.

-DMR

More on Pastor Suicide

You will find below another link to the apparent suicide that has taken our Lutheran family the last couple days. I knew John as well, and would certainly echo Rev. Fish’s description.

As someone who has gone down the road of seriously considering suicide, I think I have some sense of that darkness. No man knows another’s pain except our Lord, but we can have glimpses of it.

It is truly astonishing to me how many pastors there are out there who discount clinical depression as basically a modern invention. It is real, it is utterly debilitating, and Satan will use it to whatever end can to further his evil plans.

Fortunately, God is merciful. This means, quite simply, that God’s love conquers even death. Even an evil death such as this. When John may have felt abandoned, he was and is not. His baptism remains true. God will not leave him in the clutches of Satan simply because of an illness.

I am still deeply sad, especially for John’s family and his congregation. They will certainly be in my prayers in the days and weeks to come.

God be with us.

-DMR

Almost Beyond Belief

More on Pastor Suicide

You will find below another link to the apparent suicide that has taken our Lutheran family the last couple days. I knew John as well, and would certainly echo Rev. Fish’s description.

As someone who has gone down the road of seriously considering suicide, I think I have some sense of that darkness. No man knows another’s pain except our Lord, but we can have glimpses of it.

It is truly astonishing to me how many pastors there are out there who discount clinical depression as basically a modern invention. It is real, it is utterly debilitating, and Satan will use it to whatever end can to further his evil plans.

Fortunately, God is merciful. This means, quite simply, that God’s love conquers even death. Even an evil death such as this. When John may have felt abandoned, he was and is not. His baptism remains true. God will not leave him in the clutches of Satan simply because of an illness.

I am still deeply sad, especially for John’s family and his congregation. They will certainly be in my prayers in the days and weeks to come.

God be with us.

-DMR

Almost Beyond Belief

Cyberbrethren: A Lutheran Blog: Thoughts on the Suicide of a Friend

Rev. Paul McCain over at Cyberbrethren has an outstanding post on suicide right now. Here is the final paragraph:

Finally, if you know a pastor who is struggling, be sure to reach out to encourage him and support him. Don’t sit around thinking, “Oh, somebody else is going to say something.” No, you say something. Do something. Reach out in Christian love. If a congregation is aware that the pastor is suffering, don’t wait, help.

Amen to that, and thank you, Rev. McCain, for your excellent and well written post.

-DMR

Cyberbrethren: A Lutheran Blog: Thoughts on the Suicide of a Friend: “”

Physician Assisted Suicide and Depression in Oregon

Kudos to First Things for bringing this article to my attention on the astonishing rate of physician assisted suicides that have an association with clinical depression.  Here’s the pertinent portion:

In 2007, none of the 46 people in Oregon who used physician-assisted suicide were evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist, the news release said.

For the new study, researchers at Oregon Health and Sciences University checked for depression or anxiety in 58 terminally ill patients who’d requested physician-assisted suicide or had contacted an assisted death organization. Fifteen of the patients met the criteria for depression and 13 for anxiety.

By the end of the study, 42 patients had died. Of those, 18 received a prescription for a lethal medication, and nine died by lethal ingestion. Of those who received a prescription for a lethal medication, three met the criteria for depression. All three died by lethal ingestion within two months of being assessed by researchers.

Luther is credited with saying that those who commit suicide are akin to someone who has been overcome by robbers in the woods.  In this case the robbers are the very doctors who should be healing them.  It is despicable to the point of incredulity that it would actually be legal to help someone with clinical depression commit suicide.  I’m not sure how that qualifies as Death with Dignity.  I would say that is more like Death by Evil Design.

You can tell the level of civilization of a nation by how it treats the helpless in her midst.  Between abortion and euthaniasia we are slipping into barbarism more every day.

Talk about depressing.  Lord, have mercy on us.

Out of the Depths

grunewald_crucifixion.jpg

Good Friday is really about life for me. Two years ago Good Friday, I was sitting at home, preparing for my minimal role in services. I had been on disability for about 2 months, and things were going fairly well. I got a phone call from the people that handle disability claims at our insurance company. They were just calling to inform me that since I had shown “some” improvement according to my doctor, that they were taking me off disability.

This began a series of events that I can only describe as surreal. I began a downward spiral that brought be to being suicidal. It was a gift from God that we had the divine service that day, for without that, I don’t know what I would have been doing. My pastor stayed with me as much as possible. I was a zombie, barely conscious, yet fully believing that there was no way I could get out of this, no way I could recover from such a blow. If I didn’t have the time and space I needed to heal, then I would only get worse. What was the point?

But God is merciful.

I lived.  Somehow our Lord got me through the Great Three Days.   After Easter I went to stay with some dear friends for a couple weeks to rest and try to recover some level of sanity and normalcy.  Things got better.  It took a long time, with setbacks along the way and all kinds of other gunk to go through, but things did get better.

So Good Friday for me is about life.  It’s about that life God gives to each one of us.  It’s about the Life that was given for my life.   It’s about the gift of seeing my children grow up, having friends and family who care deeply for us, and it’s about the ongoing work that our Lord does to keep us in the faith all the days of our lives.  No matter how dark the road.

A blessed Good Friday to you.

-DMR

Suicide up among those in midlife

The NY Times just posted an article about the rather dramatic rise in suicide rates among those 45-54 years old.  It went up 20 percent in men and 31 percent in women in that age group.

Suicide is an ongoing problem in our culture.  We live in a world where the expectation of a perfect life is almost assumed.  On top of that, the increase of medications and other factors has made suicide rates almost epidemic in the United States.

How is a Christian to handle this?  Well, for starters, we do understand that suicide is a sin (5th commandment), but it is only a sin.  Jesus died for even that.  The notion of categorically condemning anyone who commits suicide is simple not in keeping with the Gospel.   Obviously some may commit suicide as the end of despair over the faith.  Others may do so because the pain becomes overwhelming.  For many, we never know the reasons for suicide.

I am saddened to hear of this trend, and will have to spend some time thinking about it.  Why the rise in this age group?  What has changed over the last decade in the United States that would warrant such a change?

God be merciful to us, as we remember those who have taken their own lives.  I have considered the same in dark hours of the night.  But God is merciful, and has spared me from that fate.  May it be so for one and all.

-DMR

The Yellow Wallpaper

The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Writings, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, is not what one would consider “normal” reading for Lutheran pastors. Ms. Gilman was a turn of the (20th) century proto-feminist, advocated group raising for children (“it takes a village”), and any number of peculiar to downright evil ideas.

She also had a brilliant insight into the mindset of depression and anxiety.

In the signature short story in the above book (The Yellow Wallpaper), the protagonist has been diagnosed with melancholy. Her husband is a doctor, and believes that the best thing for her is to be kept away from all human contact. Despite her ongoing objections, she is made a virtual prisoner in her own home, a cottage they have rented until she gets better.

Of course, she doesn’t get better.  She goes slowly mad, and becomes obsessed with the yellow wallpaper in her upper room where she spends all her time.  The patterns in the paper become alive, she starts to see people on the other side of the paper.  It consumes her, until she finally cannot take it anymore and commits suicide.

Now the element of this story which I found so intriguing is the role of her husband.  He is a doctor, so he is an expert.  She cannot question his judgment, because that would be both unseemly and totally counterproductive.  So she is forced to accept his diagnosis even though everything within her says it is wrong.

The parallels between this and modern approaches to depression and other mental illnesses is striking.  What “camp” you fall into will determine your diagnosis.  Traditional medicine.  Homeopathy.  Good ole’ American willpower.  The “Luther” view of sing more hymns loud, drink more and be with people more (more on this little topic in another post).  Some will say drugs are the only way to go.  Therapy must be the answer.  Others will say that prayer is the only way.  Still others meditation, sunlight,  etc.  But it is surprising to me how completely exclusive these approaches can become.

The reality is that the mind is an incredibly complex thing, truly a wonder of God’s creation.  Just as there are many causes for depression, even so there may be many roads out of depression.  What we must be on guard against is presuming that one view or approach is the end all only way to come to a right way out.

In this path we walk, our Lord has given us many tools for healing.  God will see you through, no matter what path you may end up talking along the way.

-DMR