Wow. What a great blog. Written by a pastor’s wife. GO CHECK THIS OUT NOW:
Two of Me?: “Today was a â€˜normalâ€™ day: me alone with my three kids. I played with the kids. I hugged them. We tickled and laughed. We even left the house for a small adventure. We made it through the entire day without anyone melting down into tears. Thatâ€™s something to celebrate.
My husband came home with another tale of woe about church. I believe his introduction to the story was, â€˜I donâ€™t think things could get any weirder.â€™ I think heâ€™s said that several times in the last couple of months, and yet the weirdness persists. I listened with attention and empathy.
Iâ€™ve fulfilled my roles of mom and wife well today, and that makes me glad. But under all of that is a strong, steady current of sadness and fatigue. Nothing in particular is on my mind to make me feel this way. Itâ€™s just there. Itâ€™s as though there are two of me, one is heavy, bolted to the ground. The other is happy and in the moment with people I love.
The happy me is inextricably tied to the heavy me, and that makes everything effortful. I think this might be a symptom of depression, and someday I hope I will have recovered fully and will be capable of feeling carefree. Right now, it feels like I have changed completely. Sometimes I think this weight will be with me every hour of every day from now on.
(Via On Being Mrs. Pastor.)