Monthly Archives: January 2008

anxiety, depression, pharmacology

Coming Down (going off depression medication)

12 Comments

Do Not Feed the Fear

So I have now been on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication for over two years. My current cocktail (zoloft/sertraline, welbutrin, and clonazapam) has been fairly steady for over a year. Things are going well for the most part, so I am starting to wean myself off of the medications.

The concept is both exciting and terrifying.

When I started taking all of this stuff, I was in a very desperate position. There were few options. It was medication or check myself into a hospital. I’m glad that I made the decision to go on this medication, as it has allowed me to live and regain some semblance of normalcy.

Having said that, there is no doubt that you also lose something by taking anti-depressants and anxiety medication. The lows aren’t nearly as low, but the highs aren’t as high, either. The anxiety medication makes it so that I don’t feel claustrophobic, but it also just makes you a little dulled to the world around you. I feel like I have been tired for two years, and that I don’t even remember what it is like to be fully awake.

I am excited to start the process of going off of them, but I’m also scared. They have served as a safety net for a long time. They are one of the earthly causes to my ongoing healing. I don’t want to go off of them, because I don’t want to go back to where I was. But I don’t want to stay where I am, either.

So there is the dilemma. I can’t stay where I am, but I can’t go forward either.

Well, actually I can. By the mercy of God, I can start this process of going off medication. The absolute worst thing that happens is that I go back it/them for a time. I am baptized. My inheritance is sure, and my future is as certain as Jesus’ death and His words, “for you”.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

-DMR

anxiety, depression, pharmacology

Coming Down (going off depression medication)

12 Comments

Do Not Feed the Fear

So I have now been on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication for over two years. My current cocktail (zoloft/sertraline, welbutrin, and clonazapam) has been fairly steady for over a year. Things are going well for the most part, so I am starting to wean myself off of the medications.

The concept is both exciting and terrifying.

When I started taking all of this stuff, I was in a very desperate position. There were few options. It was medication or check myself into a hospital. I’m glad that I made the decision to go on this medication, as it has allowed me to live and regain some semblance of normalcy.

Having said that, there is no doubt that you also lose something by taking anti-depressants and anxiety medication. The lows aren’t nearly as low, but the highs aren’t as high, either. The anxiety medication makes it so that I don’t feel claustrophobic, but it also just makes you a little dulled to the world around you. I feel like I have been tired for two years, and that I don’t even remember what it is like to be fully awake.

I am excited to start the process of going off of them, but I’m also scared. They have served as a safety net for a long time. They are one of the earthly causes to my ongoing healing. I don’t want to go off of them, because I don’t want to go back to where I was. But I don’t want to stay where I am, either.

So there is the dilemma. I can’t stay where I am, but I can’t go forward either.

Well, actually I can. By the mercy of God, I can start this process of going off medication. The absolute worst thing that happens is that I go back it/them for a time. I am baptized. My inheritance is sure, and my future is as certain as Jesus’ death and His words, “for you”.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

-DMR

faith, meditation

Meditation, Depression and Christianity

6 Comments

Meditation

A reader recently asked me to comment on the relationship between meditation and depression. I’ve already posted on this once, but it seems a worthy topic.  Before we can begin in earnest we need to define a few things:

What is meditation?

The ever-reliable Wikipedia describes meditation like this: Continue reading Meditation, Depression and Christianity →

anfechtung, depression, faith

Faith on the Dark Road

8 Comments

One of the most difficult things to recognize is the place of faith when it comes to mental illness. Many view mental illness (or really any illness, for that matter) as a question of faith. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard variations on the theme:

  • “Trust that God will take care of you. You don’t need to feel this way.”
  • “If you prayed more and spent more time in the Word, you would feel better.”
  • “Depression is really a faith issue. If you had more faith, you would have a better outlook on life.”
  • “How can you be anxious and nervous? Haven’t you ever read Philippians 4?”

The list could go on, but Continue reading Faith on the Dark Road →

anxiety, Pastoral Office, Preaching

Anxiety, Depression and Preaching

16 Comments

I’ve seen a number of comments about the ongoing anxiety of preaching. I know preachers who throw up before every service. I know preachers who haven’t loved it for years. Preaching, if it is done right, is profoundly self-exposing. Preachers who know their people must know themselves, the depths of their own sin. These who preach to their congregation best probably preach to (sometimes against) themselves first.

So what does this mean for the preacher who has a mental illness like generalized anxiety disorder or clinical depression? Therein lies the rub. Continue reading Anxiety, Depression and Preaching →

depression, stress

Time on "The Most Depressing Day of the Year"

2 Comments

Time/CNN online recently posted an article on the most depressing day of the year. Apparently a Dr. Cliff Arnall of Cardiff University published a study indicating that the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year.

According to Time, the time of year when they monitor the most internet searches for depression is in mid-November. Continue reading Time on "The Most Depressing Day of the Year" →

anxiety, depression, meditation, pharmacology

Medication or Meditation: Was ist Das?

2 Comments

One of our gentle writes asked me to write a little about meditation vs. medication. If you read much in the way of comments here, you will find that many of the readers here have a much lower view of pharmacology and medication that I do. That’s okay, I can take the heat.

One does not have to do much research to discover that there is a whole field of study on the relationship between meditation and depression. Some of the articles I found after a quick search are HERE, HERE and HERE. One of the things we have to establish is what is really meant by meditation.

Meditation can mean everything from yoga, visualization techniques, Cognitive Therapy (my personal favorite), and a world of other types of meditation that may or may not have a religious element to them. Probably the common element among them is using some method to cleanse or clear the mind, to focus on one thing, and through this process to change one’s thinking. I won’t claim to be an expert on non-Western forms of meditation, but I know just enough to be dangerous.

Here are a few preliminary observations from a Lutheran perspective:

  • Evaluate whether the technique works within the framework of a religious system that is contrary to Christianity. Some types of meditation are benign; others have a totally skewed view of human spirit (usually a variation on denying original sin). Does the form of meditation have aspects of it that just don’t sit with the theology of the cross? Is meditation seen as a way of supplanting prayer?
  • What are the expectations of the writer/teacher/guide who is leading the meditation? If there is talk about being a disciple of a certain form, I would start to get nervous.
  • Does the form have history, is it established and recognized at least at some level by professionals in different fields? While this isn’t absolutely necessary, if something is written off as complete quackery, it may be because it is.

My therapist has used and is a proponent of cognitive therapy or cognitive reframing. We have also used some basic relaxation techniques to help deal with anxiety. I’ve found them both to be extremely helpful. Are they THE solution? No? Can they replace medication and other means of help? Not for me. If you don’t have the energy to get out of bed, it is very difficult to imagine having the energy to meditate, no matter how relaxing or liberating it may be. I can know something is good for me and still not be able to do it.

Anyway, those are a few initial thoughts. What are yours?

-DMR

anxiety, depression, meditation, pharmacology

Medication or Meditation: Was ist Das?

2 Comments

One of our gentle writes asked me to write a little about meditation vs. medication. If you read much in the way of comments here, you will find that many of the readers here have a much lower view of pharmacology and medication that I do. That’s okay, I can take the heat.

One does not have to do much research to discover that there is a whole field of study on the relationship between meditation and depression. Some of the articles I found after a quick search are HERE, HERE and HERE. One of the things we have to establish is what is really meant by meditation.

Meditation can mean everything from yoga, visualization techniques, Cognitive Therapy (my personal favorite), and a world of other types of meditation that may or may not have a religious element to them. Probably the common element among them is using some method to cleanse or clear the mind, to focus on one thing, and through this process to change one’s thinking. I won’t claim to be an expert on non-Western forms of meditation, but I know just enough to be dangerous.

Here are a few preliminary observations from a Lutheran perspective:

  • Evaluate whether the technique works within the framework of a religious system that is contrary to Christianity. Some types of meditation are benign; others have a totally skewed view of human spirit (usually a variation on denying original sin). Does the form of meditation have aspects of it that just don’t sit with the theology of the cross? Is meditation seen as a way of supplanting prayer?
  • What are the expectations of the writer/teacher/guide who is leading the meditation? If there is talk about being a disciple of a certain form, I would start to get nervous.
  • Does the form have history, is it established and recognized at least at some level by professionals in different fields? While this isn’t absolutely necessary, if something is written off as complete quackery, it may be because it is.

My therapist has used and is a proponent of cognitive therapy or cognitive reframing. We have also used some basic relaxation techniques to help deal with anxiety. I’ve found them both to be extremely helpful. Are they THE solution? No? Can they replace medication and other means of help? Not for me. If you don’t have the energy to get out of bed, it is very difficult to imagine having the energy to meditate, no matter how relaxing or liberating it may be. I can know something is good for me and still not be able to do it.

Anyway, those are a few initial thoughts. What are yours?

-DMR