Through a series of peculiar events, I am serving as a delegate to the 2010 LCMS Convention in Houston, Texas. You may follow my general thoughts about it here. One event today kind of served as a trigger for me that I thought would be worth reflection upon here.
Since my illness, I have been less comfortable around large crowds, loud noises, and kind of close in, packed situations. Tonight I had opportunity to go to an awesome baseball game where the Cardinals whooped the Astros 8-0. (GO CARDS!) The game was good. It was fun. I love baseball and so much about it and the culture which surrounds it. But at the end of the game when we were getting up to leave, the people around us looked at us funny. I couldn’t figure out why no one was getting up. The game was over, and the home team got trounced. Don’t these people ever leave?
It turns out that this Friday they were have a fireworks display after the game.
Now those of you who have been reading this for a while might remember that fireworks are one of those triggers for me. You can read more about it here. So when I heard that they were having fireworks, it was as if 15000 people all sorta crowded in around me asking, “So, Todd, are you going to stay?” I kinda freaked out, and left rather abruptly.
I’m fine. Just so we’re clear.
This little mini-event reminded me of how certain things can serve as triggers. Sights, sounds, smells. There are some things that I haven’t been able to really enjoy since I was on disability, because I associate them with my illness. Golf and woodworking both come to mind.
I think all of us have these events or things that trigger certain memories or feelings. What are yours? How do you address them? Do they derail you, or is it just a passing feeling that improves over time?
A part of what helps me in these situations is being able to externalize them. If I can recognize what is going on, that allows me to maintain a modicum of control and perspective on the whole matter. For those of you who are into E.Q. type stuff, this would fall under self-awareness. This process has allowed me to move forward through such events and not allow them to paralyze me.
What think ye? Is this common or a peculiar Peperkornism?