I Trust When Dark My Road

Friends,

So I’ve done 13 trial episodes of a podcast on depression and faith. You can check them out HERE or go back and look at past posts of DMR.

I am now at a crossroads of needing to decide whether this is worth the time and effort etc. to make this happen.

I don’t have any really good way to get a sense of how many people are listening to this program. So I need your opinion. Do you listen to this, would you listen to it, and do you have any other suggestions on what would be helpful?

The podcast is about 2 1/2 to 3 minutes long. I haven’t solicited radio placement for it anywhere, although if there’s interest I may explore Pirate Christian Radio a little more.

Please leave your thoughts in the comments or email me directly. Thanks very much.

-DMR

If Narky, Feed Profusely

Read this site. I think you’ll like it.

-DMR

When I start to go down the rabbit hole into the darkness, what really makes me crazy is my own apparent need to play amateur doctor. I go through this crazy process of navel gazing, where each element, each feeling, each real or imagined failure is put under the microscope of my mind.

My mind does not have very good bedside manners. My mind cuts me no slack, gives me no room for reasonableness. There are no explanations to my mind that really matter. Sometimes I think my mind IS the sickness. My mind IS the Law, always pointing the finger, always accusing, always driving me into the depth of guilt and despair.

• It doesn’t matter that it’s Lent.
• It doesn’t matter that my grandmother died two weeks ago and that I missed a week of work.
• It doesn’t matter that Good Friday is the absolute worst day of the year for me emotionally, as it is the anniversary of my real trip down the road of despair and death four years ago.
• It doesn’t matter that I have four kids who love me, and who want nothing more than to crawl inside my skin. That level of closeness is occasionally a little hard to take.
• It doesn’t matter that our school is moving, finances are tough at church and home, and that each bit of that creates one more level of pressure on my already weakened mind.

What my mind tells me is that every single time something doesn’t go right, every single time when I fail to love as I ought or serve as I ought, that every single time I lose my temper or act like a jerk, that this is just one more sign that I am not worthy to be in the Office, or in my marriage, or really on planet earth at all.
And of course, as far as it goes, my mind is right.

But.

My mind forgets the Gospel. My mind forgets that God loves me, that His Son died for me, and that I am baptized. My mind forgets that my identity is not shaped by my failures, or my illness, but by Jesus.

I need to stop listening to my mind and start listening to Jesus. I like His Words a lot better than my own.

-DMR

From Uneasy Priest – Change Your Mind:

For those of you on Facebook: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUaXFlANojQ

If you don’t know the truth about mental illness, change your mind and learn about it today.

My name is Dave Juhl. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in the summer of 2008. It was a life changing diagnosis…for the positive.

For those of you who do not know, I blog about my struggles with mental illness here. It’s the first time ever I have admitted that I am the author of this blog. This campaign about not being afraid of speaking and admitting about mental illness changed my mind about my anonymity….

This is from my dear friend and fellow brother-in-office, Pastor David Juhl. If you don’t follow his blog(s), I would encourage you to do so. I always learn from him, and pray that he continues to receive the healing that he needs.

-DMR

A Psalm Quest: Psalm 18

I love the Psalms, and I am always on the hunt for beautiful depictions of them. This is a beautiful web site that has much to commend it. Check it out.

(Via A Psalm Quest.)

I am in the process of changing servers in the next couple days, so it is possible that the blog may be down.  But have no fear!  We will be back up and ready to roll in no time.  Thanks!

-LL

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 ESV)

Depression is my muse.  When I am feeling my worst is oddly enough when I write the best.  How does God use depression for your benefit?

[NOTE: I am switching servers for this blog in the next few days, so if things seem a little wonky or out of place, have no fear!  We'll be back....]

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

“Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered…” (Psalms 105:5 ESV)

What do you remember that teaches you God is there for you?  What do you remember that seeks to prevent you from hearing God’s mercy?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

“Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered…” (Psalms 105:5 ESV)

What do you remember that teaches you God is there for you?  What do you remember that seeks to prevent you from hearing God’s mercy?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

What does it mean to be cleansed of sin?  Why should we care?

Podcast: Play in new window | Download