Monthly Archives: November 2007

anxiety, depression, family, Pastoral Office, stress

These gray and latter days….

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I hate the gray of winter. I hate it I hate it I hate it. There is something about the color gray that is just evil. Neither black nor white nor color, it is a continual reminder of the mush of our lives, and of how one thing blends into another so much that you can’t tell the difference.

Life. Family. Work. Play. For many they are hard to tell apart. And the busier we get the more those lines become blurred and (ugh) gray. Add to that a little obsessive compulsive tendencies and the easy possibility of becoming overwhelmed, and you have a recipe for an interesting month.

Most pastors will tell you that December and January are when most of the family problems come to a head in the parish, and that it is the time when everyone’s difficulties rise to the surface. This, too, has the effect of graying and mushing everything together, especially for the pastor.

Pastors (all bravado notwithstanding) are generally compassionate people. Pastors have a tendency to put on a tough exterior more as a self-defense mechanism than anything else.

I’m not really good at mechanisms right now. I take everything personally when I am under stress, even things that aren’t directed at me. It drives me batty, which also makes me crazy.

So what do you do when life is gray, stress is high, and things are crashing in upon you? I’d like to hear from you.

-DMR

PS Sorry this isn’t more upbeat and happy. Some posts are just like that.

anxiety, depression, family, Pastoral Office, stress

These gray and latter days….

5 Comments


I hate the gray of winter. I hate it I hate it I hate it. There is something about the color gray that is just evil. Neither black nor white nor color, it is a continual reminder of the mush of our lives, and of how one thing blends into another so much that you can’t tell the difference.

Life. Family. Work. Play. For many they are hard to tell apart. And the busier we get the more those lines become blurred and (ugh) gray. Add to that a little obsessive compulsive tendencies and the easy possibility of becoming overwhelmed, and you have a recipe for an interesting month.

Most pastors will tell you that December and January are when most of the family problems come to a head in the parish, and that it is the time when everyone’s difficulties rise to the surface. This, too, has the effect of graying and mushing everything together, especially for the pastor.

Pastors (all bravado notwithstanding) are generally compassionate people. Pastors have a tendency to put on a tough exterior more as a self-defense mechanism than anything else.

I’m not really good at mechanisms right now. I take everything personally when I am under stress, even things that aren’t directed at me. It drives me batty, which also makes me crazy.

So what do you do when life is gray, stress is high, and things are crashing in upon you? I’d like to hear from you.

-DMR

PS Sorry this isn’t more upbeat and happy. Some posts are just like that.

anxiety, depression, stress

Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Depression

2 Comments


I can always tell when I’m getting over-stressed, depressed, or generally anxious about life. Why? Because I become obsessed about buying things. Sometimes they are things that we need as a family. Sometimes they are needed at church. Sometimes I just want them, good ole’ fashion covetousness.

Over the span of my illness I’ve found this as a returning theme. When things are out of control in my life, or I feel as though I’m losing a grip on reality, I find that buying stuff satisfies my compulsion for control, at least for a little while.

At the lowest point in my depression, I was spending money like Brad Pitt, buying whatever came to my mind whenever I wanted it. I always had a justification for it, because it helped my healing. Now insofar as having hobbies and distractions from everyday life is healthy (and it is), this whole process was and is a good thing, if kept in check. But it is when things to totally out of control that problems arise. Like massive credit card debt, allowing material things to serve as a barrier to those whom I love and tasks that I dread.

Add the grayness outside and the coming assault of winter, and you have a recipe for trouble.

Am I alone in this? I don’t think so. Given the rising credit card debt in our nation, and how depression means a void in fulfillment, this strikes me as a common problem afflicting Americans in general. We have the means to go 50k, 100k or more into debt quite easily, and I don’t mean by buying a house or a car.

So what do you do when you can tell the oncoming signs of coping mechanisms creeping their way in? Here’s a few tips.

  • Recognize them for what they are. This is your mind and body telling you that things aren’t right, that something is missing, and that it needs to be filled. Sometimes that may result in buying something you need (or whatever your coping mechanism may be). Sometimes recognizing it for what it is will suffice.
  • Recognize them for what they aren’t. They aren’t a sign that you are A) Going to hell; B) Abandoned by God; C) Just another cog in the great machine of American retail; D) A failure because you can’t control your impulses. Much like the body uses nerves to tell you when you are in pain, you mind may use these coping mechanisms to tell you that something is wrong. Don’t make it more than it is.
  • Recognize you for who you are. You are baptized. You are in Christ and Christ is in you. This is true whether you have goofy compulsions or not. This is true even though Satan may use these compulsions to lead you into sin.
  • Find someone to talk this through with you. This could be a counselor, but it could be your pastor or a friend. But don’t let this just fester inside you. That will not help.

Anyway, those are a few random thoughts on Cyber Monday. I think I’ll go check out what’s on sale at Amazon…

-DMR

anxiety, depression, stress

Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Depression

2 Comments


I can always tell when I’m getting over-stressed, depressed, or generally anxious about life. Why? Because I become obsessed about buying things. Sometimes they are things that we need as a family. Sometimes they are needed at church. Sometimes I just want them, good ole’ fashion covetousness.

Over the span of my illness I’ve found this as a returning theme. When things are out of control in my life, or I feel as though I’m losing a grip on reality, I find that buying stuff satisfies my compulsion for control, at least for a little while.

At the lowest point in my depression, I was spending money like Brad Pitt, buying whatever came to my mind whenever I wanted it. I always had a justification for it, because it helped my healing. Now insofar as having hobbies and distractions from everyday life is healthy (and it is), this whole process was and is a good thing, if kept in check. But it is when things to totally out of control that problems arise. Like massive credit card debt, allowing material things to serve as a barrier to those whom I love and tasks that I dread.

Add the grayness outside and the coming assault of winter, and you have a recipe for trouble.

Am I alone in this? I don’t think so. Given the rising credit card debt in our nation, and how depression means a void in fulfillment, this strikes me as a common problem afflicting Americans in general. We have the means to go 50k, 100k or more into debt quite easily, and I don’t mean by buying a house or a car.

So what do you do when you can tell the oncoming signs of coping mechanisms creeping their way in? Here’s a few tips.

  • Recognize them for what they are. This is your mind and body telling you that things aren’t right, that something is missing, and that it needs to be filled. Sometimes that may result in buying something you need (or whatever your coping mechanism may be). Sometimes recognizing it for what it is will suffice.
  • Recognize them for what they aren’t. They aren’t a sign that you are A) Going to hell; B) Abandoned by God; C) Just another cog in the great machine of American retail; D) A failure because you can’t control your impulses. Much like the body uses nerves to tell you when you are in pain, you mind may use these coping mechanisms to tell you that something is wrong. Don’t make it more than it is.
  • Recognize you for who you are. You are baptized. You are in Christ and Christ is in you. This is true whether you have goofy compulsions or not. This is true even though Satan may use these compulsions to lead you into sin.
  • Find someone to talk this through with you. This could be a counselor, but it could be your pastor or a friend. But don’t let this just fester inside you. That will not help.

Anyway, those are a few random thoughts on Cyber Monday. I think I’ll go check out what’s on sale at Amazon…

-DMR

anfechtung, depression, pharmacology

Depression, Anfechtung, and drugs (oh my!)

8 Comments

Susan over at her pendulum has posted a good and worthwhile question about anti-depressants. Read it here.

I’ve posted on this topic a few times, particularly in my review of the book, Prozac Nation.

Susan has several valid observations and questions:

  1. Does an anti-depressant treat the cause or cover up the symptom?
  2. As a result, does it actually cover up the underlying problem so that it can’t be addressed?
  3. Finally, what is the difference between clinical depression and anfechtung?

The answer to number one is yes and no. I come from a long history of distrust of traditional medicine. My family has lived on chiropractors and homeopathy for about as long as I can remember. So have have no commitment necessarily to standard “slap a drug on it and call it good” approach to medication. However, there is plenty of evidence (more and more each year) that points to the reality that clinical depression is a medical condition, where the neurotransmitters in the brain are not functioning properly. Is this condition a result of sin? Yes (duh). Are there multiple ways it can be addresses? Yes (duh).

I do think that because we are dealing with mental illness that there is an automatic connection made between clinical depression and spiritual distress or temptation (anfechtung). In my observation and deep experience, they are not the same, but one may lead to the other, either direction. This is why there is no one solution to clinical depression. It really requires a multi-pronged approach of a doctor, a counselor, and a pastor. If you take one of those out of the equation, I fear that either the clinical depression or the spiritual distress which caused it or is a result of it will go untreated.

Allow me to use an analogy. I’ve had many parishioners who have had cancer and other terminal illnesses, as well as painful but not terminal illnesses. Few things can test the faith than a terminal illness. It almost inevitably leads to anfechtung. It is also an incredible opportunity for our Lord’s healing hand to be at work, forgiving sins, providing comfort and giving consolation which only he can give. However, as a pastor I would be seriously messed up if I suggested to this patient that they should refuse treatment.

Which brings us to number two. Can anti-depressants cover up the underlying problem? Absolutely! That is why a pharmacological treatment cannot be the sole treatment. The causes for clinical depression are diverse and sometimes impossible to track down. In order to get at the heart of the matter, there is a sense where the patient must recognize the depression for what it is, and try to seek both spiritual and psychological answers. It really requires self-examination which can be very uncomfortable.

However, there is a point where anti-depressants are necessary in order to function and get to the point of asking some of those underlying questions. Sometimes the answers may be spiritual. Sometimes they may be genetic or situational. Sometimes it is nearly impossible to nail down a “cause” to depression. But the fact of the matter is that far, far more people are undermedicated or misdiagnosed when it comes to depression than the other way around.

Which brings us to number three. What’s the difference between clinical depression and anfectungen, or spiritual distress? When you physically can’t move out of bed, that isn’t a spiritual matter, or it at least is not solely a spiritual matter. When you can’t concentrate, can’t remember the day before or even the hour before, when you either can’t sleep at all or sleep 20 hours a day, these are not simply spiritual distress. They are real, physiological symptoms of a medical problem.

Life under the cross does not mean easy fixes or pill-popping solutions. It means that we follow our Lord to die, so that we might rise with Him at the last day. It does not mean that we should avoid earthly help with pain in order to further identify with our Lord and His suffering. That would be montanism, and some of the more twisted views found in monasticism.

If your leg is broken, get it set. If your mind is broken, get the help you need. A part of that help may include medication and therapy. I guarantee that a part of that help is having a pastor and a church that understand the Gospel, and will give you the balm that will heal your soul, even if your mind and body are hurting.

Thanks for the intriguing post, Susan.

-DMR